Memory is Pure Sweetness

New Year

2010-01-03T14:34:16Z

1) bear no grudges

2) hardworking but smart

3) ignore people who pisses you off

4) solve the problem , not avoiding it

5) be focused and not sray from the goal

6) do better in my school year

7) be friendl and never doubt them

8) be not of a worry-wart and be optimistic all the time

9) be in love

10) be soft spoken but outgoing

my frozen heart

2009-12-30T12:59:24Z

my heart
is it frozen
maybe i guesso
i dunnoe
people think im weird
people think im cold
but all they say why i could laugh and be happy
and yet still to love someone

i dunnoe how to love someone?
is it true?
i crushed on people and having eyecandies
but still im not good at loving someone
i love my family and friends
but that person whom i had yet to find is someone i wont know how to love?
maybe it is true
cos i never love anyone sincerely before
i like that person but in a mere string of buzy activities i forget about him , i dun remember him to make me happy
cos i dun love him
it is different
it is absolute one sided
i like him but i know and he dun know that i like him
i nevr confess
but as much as i could confess
i could never confess to him upfront

i was afraid of rejection and dejection that my love for that omeone lasted with three years worth of pain and misery
it is a good of a year full of rejection
my uncle say it is alrite to confess
but it is true for all men to agree to what my uncle say that if a girl confess to guy, it does not hurt its ego
really that i did not hurt their ego to express their love to someone they love
i see so many live example but i still cant confess
i still cant do it
what is stopping me?
could someone just confess to me they like me and that guy is someone i could accept without doubting his sincerity
all i want is a simple love

is it just me or am i seriously gone case

2009-12-20T09:26:48Z

i am so cray right now
cos i am so going for a vacation
two days for a straight road trip to malaysia
yeah!!!!
only me and couzinzzzzzz

[itter [atter

2009-12-03T16:53:01Z

i cant see the truth this time
i felt like there is once i have no time
to trust or to believe
i want to be of myself
my heart palpitation is going worst
im dying
because this
im dying because the feeling is haunting
me down every minute every seconds
goodbye my loved ones

i love her for she is my good friend

2009-11-14T13:15:18Z

she is my good friend
the one who i relied on most and undoubtedly very understanding to me
the one at work is my senior
she is so nice to me and have then help me out in a snitch all the time
i love her like my big sister
and trying to overcome language barrier by learning a bit of her tagalog language
another good friend of mine is at school
she never feel ashamed of me whenever i act silly or sometimes annoying to other people
she is the person who never gives up on me
she may not always be there whenever i was in trouble
but her words will alwaes be
i love you two so much
i hope to death i will never forget you

my miserable day

2009-11-12T17:27:33Z

i have a miserable day
the finance becomes more scarier to me
everyday they hunt you down even fiercer and scarier than i ever thought
and because they are becoming more scarier *eventhough i am in finance team
i felt so scared of them
tomorrow i will get scolding from the finance i think
as i have 41 void items in one receipt!!!!!
i think tomorrow the finance will hunt me down again
i felt like not coming tomorrow
please dont scold me
i dont mean it
really i dunt
i am very sorry

i am so scared that i have a phobia to go to school

crystal world

2009-11-09T12:17:58Z

as i woke up from my forever darkness
only to realise that i am in a world of crystal
around are reigning with dangling crystal that is as sharp as the rigged daggers
fond of crystal , i had never realised it's pain could cause my bloodshed and despair
my beautiful white gown has by then been splashed with endless blood red
if only i knew , i would not have run without cautious
then, i decided that i should take a look of this view at the higest point
thus, with much cautious i walked around the crystal
instead more scratches and wounds wide open with bleeding rate
pain seared thru my body and set a shudder of fear and numbness of the body
abd by the time i reached to the highest point of this demonic yet at the same time a mangnificent version of angelic world
all i could see is the crystal maze
surrounded with mass of forest
my heart fell to even more despair and started crying

'how did i end up here?" i cried

soon, the angel of fatigue took over me and from heights i feel to the cold ground
there with little ounces of strength i look up to the dark blue sky ,

"what if i had never run away would the consequences be the same??" in the darkest depth of my heart

from here and on, this will be my story i wrote

2009-11-08T13:40:15Z

with windows stutter with the fallen snow, i left the house in the hurry
i can't believe what i heard
my mother is arranging my marriage with the man i hate most
Lord Mackins
no way, am i going to marry him
despair nudged me in my heart
what about love and freedom of choice
and currently, i have nowehere to stay and there , i stand in the heavy rain
drenching myself wet and eveytime the wind blows
my body shuddered in fear and cold
am i regretting the fact that i ran away from home
i suddenly cried
then, someone tap on my shoulder

"Aunt Elisa!" i cried and hugging her at the same time

i begged her not to send me home
i begged her to take to her house
she looked and me and smiled, whispered to me:

" i am here to take away from your demanding mother, be my daughter krystal" she asked

and in desperate time, called for desperate measures
i agreed immediately.

but then, she gave me a huge knockout and then, i................

justin bieber lyrics in a heart

2009-10-11T12:57:40Z

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i am on vacation to malaysia and got some pics

2009-10-11T12:56:13Z

my day with my new 5 megapixel camera handphone excited

every human has a different destiny so do i

2009-10-01T13:08:50Z

today i am really lazy to write anything on my everywhere diary
in fact it s due to this
undenying fact that i could not be close with someone i like
everytime i saw that perosn he is like so far away
it has been the same for all this years
there are no one to like me
no one to accept
it seems that my destiny has been like that
i hope i could see more colours than what i have right now
i cant even believe i would meet up with anyone like them
i am a damsel not fit for love at first sight

knowing .....and pretending to be with them

2009-09-09T13:56:38Z

i am going crzy because i love to imagine i have them by my side
but reality is alwaes there
i nid to know the truth
face the truth

music blasted

2009-09-07T16:08:50Z

i am being blasted by many many many musics
life sucks so music is the remedies

i am delicate a rose

2009-09-05T13:28:06Z

ok spare me from my hallucination
pretty boys handsome smiles and whatever there is a girl dream for
okay i met this guy online
if he is cute nah he is not that cute
if he is sweet
i dunnoe cos he is so like forever slow
okay say whatever you want but he is like taking years to message me on the MSN!!!!!!
haha
i bought a new laptop
axioo and it is damn cool
but not as fashion sense like compaq my previous
i seriously nid to buy a laptop skin
he looks so innocent but i dunnoe
do i fall for his innocent looks
i must be on my guard
hahah
tomorrow i am making aidilfitri delicacies
in coming to an end the fasting month
cant wait for the day we can eat normally
haha
i am so happy todae cos i am crazy and zany todae

Dreaming for the voice of an Angel

2009-09-03T12:50:47Z

I always felt that i am pulled away from my peace
i always that there is a different world out there
different from the world im standing in
do you ever felt that this is not where you belong but somewhere else
you felt like you have not woke up from the nightmare
the nightmare that trapped you and binds you to the world that promises sufferings

i am not trying to say that i am not contented to what god has given but the feelings are provoking me to yearn for a more world ta fits fo me
i am diffrent from the people surrounding me
i am different in view
i felt i am not meant for this world
like the word meant nothing to me
i have a decent family but the decent family seems to be very different from me
i am always go for the quiet and peaceful resort
but i felt like the togetherness of the family , making me wanted for the taste of individualistic of myself
and sometimes i dream for this particular voice from this particular angel
i guess explain very well my feeling
it's very complicated
too complicated to explain in simple and understandable words

i notice everything in my world
the surroundings
the sounds
the strike of a chord from every instruments in the world
creating an image , a sound for which suitable in singing with god's name
i felt a telepathy with my strongest element, air aka wind
the wind is always there for me
an element that god's have given me as a present eer since i was born
i never felt alone with it
i want to feel the wind all the time

but when will i be able to go to the world i am meant for
the world that was created for people like me
when can i feel secured and safe
and live without the a doubt
without insecurities
oh almighty god' Allah s.w.t save me and love me like your own child.
i am happy to fast in a holy fasting month
i am contented with the happiness you have given to me
i am forever indebted to you

the true self has been found

2009-07-31T05:58:56Z

many years has passed but i somewhat lost
i felt like i don't belong anywhere
like people don't accept of me where ever i go
they say im too cheerful
im too dreary
im too irritating
and hell yes, i aware of that
and to tell you the truth
i finally found my true self
and that is i will be my true self
i found my true self
the being who i am really, a person who is a quiet person
like i always has been at home and to everybody whom i know of closely
and what is it ??
i show u from today onwards
so if you don't accept me my true self
well, it is ok i am fine being like that
because that's me
different........

Writer's Block: Childish Pleasures

2009-07-21T12:40:04Z

Name something you love but feel like you should have grown out of by now.

View 506 Answers

i love to go out for a walk by the garden but nowadays it seems that i have grown out of it
times have change
and i hav to forfeit the free time to relax and ponder
for work and school
i usually have time to chat and hang around with my friends but now all is gone
grown out of me and the time
till the free time is regained , i guess i have to work hard for time alone again

flustered by life

2009-07-21T12:33:09Z

have you ever feel that you were never meant to be there , here or exist in anyone's lives
i do and a lot of times too
i feel like i am so distant from my friends whom once closed and now, ar apart
if only i noe what to do
but i dont
i guess i was just flustered by life
ppeople often says
life is always greener on the other side
if certain people in my life has made certain decisions differently i guess it would probably be a lot of difference too
disdain despair desire
killer of hope
i guess i just have to bear with it till the end of time

exams are just an arms away

2009-07-20T04:11:26Z

today is monday
the day i am supposedly to have the blues
but hell no, i am having fun
i am thinking to be a little way off the cord of the brain thinghy
like my blues are alwaes on tuesday
i deemed it as the death penalty
the death day of the week
but today i also found i have lots to do
hrm project
equiz
efma and busfin
like why must i learn all this
this arghhhhh
freaking irritating

time to mug again and again
and the worst thing
is that my exams are in one straight row not even a day off
arghhhhhhhhhhhhh exams

blues in the illusion of the Tsukiko

2009-07-14T07:34:50Z

hiding behind the blue
i have always immerse in fantasy that cannot exist and will not exist
people with abilities surpasses norma human being
i always dream to be in my element
i love wind
swishing and breezing the way through everybody's life
sakura i can never be like her
tomoyo is so elegant
and i am like a roughed edged sculpture with no sense of gentleness and sweetness

i am a moon's child
born with a full moon above my head
born when no clouds could cover the full moon of my birth
but i do not know why i have been born into the world

sometimes i feel down right misplace
am i really sure that this where i belong
or i am just agirl who fell in the illusion of her own Tsukiko

tsukiko_hazi

smile through my heart is aching

2009-07-08T16:01:42Z

this line if anyone has seen the memorial of MJ
you would probably know where this line comes from
why this has a huge meaning to MJ and some of his closest
i am his fan ever since i was young
i dun tell anyone i like his songs
what for
its my very own secret
and will alwaes be my best idol ever

i am just a girl

2009-06-21T08:03:05Z

sleeping by the sea
yeah,yeah
i dun wish..... to be me
sleeping by the sea
yeah,yeah
i am just a girl sweetie

(chorus)
i have dreams
i have hope
but seems to lost woah woah

and i could only see it from far

i have wish
i have luck
but seems to froze of it ah

for i could only see it from far
(chorus)

sleeping by the sea
yeah , yeah
i am dying to be seen by you
sleeping by the sea
yeah,yeah
i dun wish to be with you

woah......................

so just kill me
breaking me up now
see the real me
born out now
freak your life oh yeah
bring justice to this world

(chorus)

guilt is making me crazy

2009-06-12T04:47:08Z

i dun noe what to say
i would probably shouldnt say this
but i am so in deep trouble
i did something wrong in the project
firstly, i copied the wrong profit and loss statement
thus, making most of the analysis weird
secondly, the excel stuff that he nids to link up well, i told hao jie and wei cheng to do in a new excel
now today, he didnt want to talk to me
not even looking at me
i feel so guilty that i feel i want to cry or even die
i need someone who would give me a hand
evena listening ear
but everybody, is so filled with project that i cant even turn to anyone for help
i have to wait for derrick to send to me
the document( maybe he wouldnt)
so that i could print out for the submission
the submission is at 5 pm
but not even completed yet
i dunnoe what to do
i so pissed off by myself that i dunnoe what to do next
i am so emo mood
i want to offer him my assistance but, he said that i dun get out from his face
he would screamt to my face
i promise myself that i would not work with him for any other project anymore
please let my prayers be heard
let me be the one to print out the document
and send the submission
after this, i just want to move on
at this point death looks like much nicer than alive

Writer's Block: Rabbit Rabbit!

2009-06-04T08:07:30Z

It's the first day of the month. If you could have one wish come true this month, what would it be?

View 502 Answers

My wish would to be the light of the dark, i want to be there for everybody
i want to know that sadness is part but not your life
i have a friend who loves to drown herself in darkness
she was once a girl
now becoming a guy ..........with personality
i want her to move on and not drone to depression and broken heart
i want her to think calmly and not crazily
and i want her to know that i am here with her
let me the light of your darkness

Writer's Block: Place of Residence

2009-06-04T07:45:54Z

Describe your dream house (even if it's not a house).

View 503 Answers

My dreamhouse is to live by the nature , just around your very own meaning of horizon.
Protected by the wide glass windows with wooden frame, a part of flower and phoenix carving.
The house that camouflage with the nature, brown in like the woods in the forest.
Lucious green on the from the top. A house that is big enough for a family of nine and spacious room for each.
The peaceful view of mist and fog with splashes of green and brown , and a tinge of yellow like a painting on my glass window.
Wooden floor with a thump in every step you make.
A place to clean yourself with the view of the sky , just as you looked up at the ceiling , the nature of thesky calls for you
Be it blue and sunny, orange and set, dark with raindrops
Beauty in your own bewilderment
With curtain of majestic purple draped across your window and room, making you feel comfy and at home
A cat and the naughty kittens playing across the living room.
With a room for everybody , adding the kitchen,living room and bathrooms
i have a secret room up in my attic with a wide window facing the forest view
and a secret balcony that allow me to embrace my mornig and misty wind
Thus, this my dreamhouse with everything nice and comfy inside
My dear dreamhouse just waiting for me